Step 11: “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” 

My name is Stefano, and I am an alcoholic and addict. My clean and dry date is June 7, 2015. By the Grace of God, I was taken off the streets of Toronto and, since that day, placed in a kind of holding pattern until June 15th, 2015. On that day, I began my Renascent program — my second treatment center. 

Step 11 has been quite a journey. I came into the program angry at God for what had befallen me. As a gay man who couldn’t stay clean and sober for ten years, I blamed God for everything—the family He had placed me in, the spouse I had, my sexuality. Little did I know that what started out in Step 2 as a belief that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity—by Power I mean the Good Orderly Direction of early AA—would gradually unfold into a living faith shaped by the Grace of God. That Grace became my steady companion, transforming belief into trust: not only could I stay clean and sober, but I could also stay connected to my soul through a daily Step 11 practice. 

Step 11 has seen me through the loss of a marriage, the beginning of a new relationship, a new marriage last year, and the loss of my job—really my career—at 59 years old. Last year, during a time of financial insecurity and fear about my livelihood and future, my Step 11 practice reached a deeper level. Every day I would write a letter to God, expressing my fears for the day. Then I would take my less dominant hand and have God write back to me. That hand is my inner child, and for me, that’s where the Grace of God lives—in that gentle, truthful voice within that still believes. 

“<<Stefanako>>,” meaning “little Stefano” in Greek, would write back and remind me that all I could do today was my best. It was during one of these quiet sessions that my inner child brought me to my late parents, and I heard from my dad that he and mom both thought I should take an early retirement at 60 and move to Greece, where life can be simpler. Mom had left a home for us here when she passed. Outside of my initial sobriety, this was one of the greatest spiritual awakenings I’ve ever known. When I followed through with that inner direction—the one whispered by Grace, everything began to fall into place. I accepted my package, came to Greece, received my Greek citizenship, and moved here last August. 

Life in Greece, like anywhere, has its ups and downs. Yet each time I sit down in two-way prayer, I feel guided by the same Grace that saved me in 2015. Two-way prayer allows me to ask God a question and then write the answer. I check, as the early AAs did, if the guidance feels pure, honest, selfless, and loving. When those qualities are present, I know I’m walking in Grace. 

I’ll close with this. I once heard in the program that the Big Book always meets you where you are. I feel the same way about God and Step 11. As the years pass, my understanding of God changes. In the early days, I prayed to the God of early AA. Later, I prayed to the God I grew up with. Today, my practice includes all of them—the early AAs, the God of my upbringing, my inner child, and my late parents. Through Step 11, I continue to rediscover that Grace is not something I reach for—it’s what continually reaches for me. 

This is why I remain so grateful for Step 11—because it is always where the Grace of God meets me. 

 
— Stefano