It’s with wisdom and self-reflection that Karen approaches conversations about her recovery. As the parent of a Renascent alumni who is still struggling with addiction, Karen understood years ago that she too needed her own path to healing. It was a realization that brought Karen to Renascent’s Family Program and Al-Anon (a group that provides support to family members and loves ones of people who are struggling with addiction).
“I was stuck in powerlessness. I knew I had to give up the illusion of control over my daughter’s addiction,” said Karen. “Renascent’s Family Program helped me navigate the disease of addiction as a parent. What I learned there was really quite informative. I took notes and did the homework.”
Karen came to understand how addiction impacts families and, most importantly, how to find peace and joy again despite her daughter’s ongoing struggles.
“The mother in me wants to ‘fix’ my daughter, but that’s not my role,” Karen explains. “Treatment centres like Renascent have the expertise to help the person struggling. My job is to focus on my own recovery.”
She acknowledges that some days are still difficult.
“There are moments when I struggle, knowing what my daughter is going through. But I am still living and enjoying my life as best as I can, because I’ve accepted that I can only control how I respond to the challenges presented to me.”
Karen’s daughter started struggling with her mental health in her early teens. She was hospitalized due to depression and in early adulthood, a major traumatic event led to greater struggles. A once fun-loving child, Karen’s daughter slowly transformed before her mother’s eyes; and in the years that followed, she attended various treatment centres, including Renascent.
But through it all, Karen’s “love for her never changed.”
Embracing Recovery as a Lifelong Journey
Karen values living her life in recovery and working the Al-Anon Twelve-Step Program.
“I attend an online recovery meeting every day and in-person meetings every Thursday. I have a healthy homegroup and take turns volunteering to chair those meetings.”
Karen still maintains a loving relationship with her daughter. Their conversations are grounded in both love and healthy boundaries, a testament to the work Karen has done through Renascent’s Family Program and Al-Anon.
“Even on my worse days, I can still find belief that I never had before,” says Karen who makes time to do the things that bring her joy. “I live on the East Coast and I love the ocean. I love to read, crochet, and exercise. I also love bowling. I don’t have a lot of demands on my life. I try to keep things simple now.”
To parents and loved ones who of people who are struggling with addiction, Karen provides the following suggestions and insight based on her own experience.
- Be gentle with yourself. There is so much pressure, but know that you are doing the best you can. You didn’t cause the addiction. You can’t control the addiction. You can’t cure the addiction.
- Get support. Programs like Renascent’s Family Program and Al-Anon exist to help you navigate this journey. Keep coming back, even if it takes time to believe what you hear.
- Take care of yourself. Setting boundaries is not selfish—it’s necessary for your own well-being.
- Learn about addiction. Understanding the nature of substance use disorder can help you approach the situation with greater clarity and compassion.
- Give your loved one the dignity to struggle and grow. Watching them fall is painful, but recovery is not something you can do for them.
- Recovery is lifelong. It doesn’t end when someone completes treatment; it’s an ongoing process for everyone involved.
