By Monica G., Renascent Alumni
Step 6 for me is all about willingness and trust in my Higher Power. In Step 4, I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and a Iot came up for me – my resentments, my fears, my anger toward people, myself and life in general. Step 5 allowed me to admit the exact nature of my wrongs to myself, God and to my sponsor. And in Step 6, I was finally ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
I remember at one point feeling like I was a walking character defect, but I also knew that I had some amazing qualities and great potential to be a good person. Deep down, I truly believe that I am a good person. My addiction brought out the worst in me.
Since coming into the treatment, I believe that I’ve built a solid connection with my Higher Power. I became aware of my character defects, and decided I no longer wanted to live in them. This doesn’t just happen over night. My character defects don’t just disappear like magic. It really took practice and time to recognize when I’m acting out in these character defects and by having faith in my Higher Power, I am able to work toward changing these old unhealthy behaviours and traits, into new healthy ones.
Living Step 6 Daily
To me, Step 6 means that I never have to act the way that I used to as long as I take the time to practice new actions and behaviours. This means working toward becoming a better version of myself. My Higher Power provides guidance, and I do the footwork.
Today, when I find myself in a situation where my character defects come up, I connect with my Higher Power and ask for guidance so that I don’t act on them. I ask my Higher Power to remove them. For example, I find that I can be very impatient and impulsive – when I want something, I want it now. I don’t really consider the consequences or ask myself if it is really necessary. So when I find myself in a situation where I want to act on impulse and am impatient, I ask for help from my Higher Power and ask for patience so that I can consider the consequences and whether this is something I really need in this very moment. This approach has helped me a lot in my shopping addiction, for example. I’ve saved a lot of money this way. Lol!
Throughout my two-year recovery journey I’ve come across some resources that really helped me. Here are a few:
- The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer: Teaches you that you are not the voice in your head, but instead you are the one who hears it. This I think really relates to us living with addiction, because our mind is constantly working against us. It’s important to know that our thoughts are just thoughts and we don’t need to feed into them or believe them. This book takes you on a journey to self and teaches you how to work toward living a life of peace and serenity.
- The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein: This book really helps you transform your fear into faith. The author talks a lot about mindfulness, positive affirmation and meditation, which I believe are all important components in recovery. This book also teaches you how to find love within yourself.