The recovery community, in my experience, can be a welcoming and tolerant place, as prescribed by our principles and traditions — ” the only requirement for membership is a desire…” — with a focus on our similarities rather than our differences. My quintessential moment in recovery (the moment the light went on) came while listening to a young White woman, from Forest Hill, who was an international model, telling her story in a Moore Park church, with me being the only Black attendee. It happened when she spoke of being in a castle in Europe, surrounded by all the cocaine and alcohol she could every imaging having, and during that using frenzy she had a moment of clarity suggesting that all the cocaine and alcohol in the world would not fill the void she was feeling inside. She spoke of the emptiness she was trying to fill all those years with substances, and at that moment she realized the void could not be filled by those means. I had spent the entire meeting dismissing this White woman’s privilege(s) and how dissimilar our lives had been, but when she made that point I bonded with her deeply, and that moment has been my anchor in recovery every since — 10 years and 2 months ago.
Yes, it’s a global pandemic, things are weird and scary and sad, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun in isolation. We’re all grieving the loss of something, whether it’s our social lives, hugs, in-person meetings, weddings, vacations, concerts, or a loved one. Living under the weight of all the bad and sad news isn’t sustainable — we all need a break! Here are some ways to lighten your days and have fun, despite it all:
1. Ryan Heffington’s SweatFest: don’t roll your eyes, this isn’t one of the millions of online workout classes everyone is suddenly doing now — this is the dance party that Jennifer Lopez and Reese Witherspoon are loving. Heffington is the choreographer behind all the Sia music videos you love, and has appeared on shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race. His almost-daily SweatFests happen live on his Instagram, and if the time isn’t perfect for you, they are available for 24 hours afterwards. Prepare to laugh as hard as you dance (recent moves include the Pizza Zombie and the Heavy Diaper; Pretty Pony is another favourite), and have a few props handy!
2. Houseparty: Yeah, everyone is video chatting more than they used to, but after a few minutes of catching up, it can get a little awkward, right? The Houseparty app eliminates all that with a bunch of games, from Draw Me (a version of Pictionary) and Heads Up, to trivia and a version of Cards Against Humanity. Houseparty contacts can see who is hanging out with who, and you can join their parties anytime, making it feel like an actual party whenever someone new shows up.
3. Challenges: Learning to do something totally pointless can be a hilarious and stress-free way to challenge yourself, and once you’ve got it, film yourself doing it and send it to your friends and family to challenge them to do it! Can you juggle three objects while going from standing to sitting down? What about flipping a pancake three times in a row? Get creative and enjoy watching your loved ones try to keep up!
How have you been having fun in isolation? Share the activities that have made you laugh in the comments below!
Rick A. was an incredibly committed supporter of Renascent’s recovery community. In the years since he was a client, he had become a sort of Santa Claus, showing up with gifts for those in treatment over the holiday season. Rick passed away on March 28, 2019. Just before his last holiday season with all of us, he shared his story:
I attended the Punanai Centre for men nearly 20 years ago. My first attempt at treatment was to get my wife and my employer off my back. I came into treatment knowing everything and not willing to change. My attitude got in the way and had me thinking “they have nothing to offer me.”
Nearly three months after leaving, I was irritable, discontent, and hated myself, when someone suggested I give it another try. At that moment, the gift of desperation made me willing enough to admit defeat and I re-entered treatment. This time, I was there for me. When I first walked into the centre, the biggest guy walked up to me and shook my hand. He greeted me with compassion and rather than try to take him out, I felt a sense of hope that maybe there was something to this. Instead of blaming everyone and having pity for myself, I started to listen. I connected with the counsellors and peers and I started to feel like I was no longer alone. I identified with others and started to think about them and their pain instead of my own, for the first time.
I was told to get involved, and keep an open mind. The call came: the Alumni program was exactly where I needed to be and I started to think of ways that I could help others feel less alone, to feel like they mattered. I started to purchase socks for the guys in treatment and would come down on Christmas Day to connect with guys who didn’t have family or friends around, and it changed everything. Over the next several years, the holiday gift-giving tradition continued and expanded to include the other men’s centre in Brooklin. Over the years, I’ve had men approach me at AA meetings and say “Hey, you’re that guy that showed up on Christmas Day at Renascent with gifts and food for everyone.” I had no idea of the impact, and it only mattered that I was able to be there for that ‘one’ person without family or hope on Christmas Day.
I have received more gifts than I have given and I hope this tradition continues for years to come. I have been sober since May 14, 2001 and continue to be grateful for the people who have shown me how to live a better life through service.
Talking to children about addiction and recovery doesn’t have to be scary. In fact, it’s an important part of helping a family heal together. Find out more about how we break the cycle with Renascent’s Children’s Healthy Coping Skills program.
Mary Bamford RD, MBA, BSc (Clinical Nutrition), Registered Dietitian at Renascent
You can nourish your body in ways that support both your immediate and long-term recovery with addiction. I invite you to consider the helpful eating habits below. Consider what are you are doing well already and what you can build on to support your recovery?
Five Nourishing Habits in Addiction Recovery
Eat three regular meals each day.
Choose foods that your great-grandparents recognize as food.
Plan your weekly menu.
Avoid using sugar or ultra-processed foods as a distraction, coping or recovery tool.
If you have food addiction, fully abstain from sugar, ultra-processed foods and your own addictive trigger foods.
1. Eat three regular meals each day
Food is fuel for your body and brain. It is important to fuel your body consistently throughout the day because it helps keep your brain and your mood calm.
When cars run out of gas, they stop. When humans run out of fuel, they keep moving but becomes hungry and angry, “hangry”. Allowing yourself to get hangry nudges the reward centre of the brain to have self-doubt, negative thoughts, anxiety and possibly cravings. This is unnecessary stress in a person with a history of addiction.
2. Choose foods that your great-grandparents recognize as food.
Eat mostly fresh food that your great-grandparents recognized because they grew and raised that kind of food. There were no ingredients they could not pronounce and no ingredients they could not recognize. That leaves simple, delicious foods.
3. Plan your Weekly Menu
Make a weekly plan for meals, grocery shopping and cooking to make your overall pattern of eating nourishing. You have many choices. To be healthy you can choose Mediterranean, Nordic, Okinawan, Vegetarian, Vegan, Paleo and many other traditional and modern eating patterns. Choose a pattern that you enjoy and can sustain.
Regardless of the pattern you choose, for each meal, plan to have foods providing protein, fat and vegetables or fruit. Here are some helpful guidelines:
For protein choose foods such as fish, meat, poultry, eggs, yogurt, cheese and “legumes” (such as kidney beans, chickpeas, lentils, soybeans and tofu). Minimally processed protein foods are excellent sources of vitamins and minerals in addition to protein and often fat.
For optimal health:
Choose fish at least twice per week;
Choose legumes at least three times per week.
Yes, some fats are healthy. The myths that started in the 1970s that dietary fat and cholesterol cause heart disease and are “bad” are fully de-bunked by good science. Include foods containing fat at every meal such as avocado, nuts, seeds, olive oil, real mayonnaise made with olive oil, coconut, coconut oil and butter. Also choose dairy products that contain some fat. No need for fat-free.
For optimal health:
Choose a handful of nuts or seeds at least 5 times per week;
Avoid margarine and commercial trans fats found in ultra-processed foods.
Vegetables and fruits are filling, flavourful and rich in many essential nutrients. Make at least half your plate at every meal vegetables or fruit. Have fun with colours. Include reds, purples, oranges, yellows, greens and white. Dark green vegetables and berries are particularly rich in nutrients.
For optimal health:
Make a habit of having fruit with breakfast and vegetables as part of both lunch and dinner;
Choose a dark green vegetable (such as spinach, broccoli or salad greens) at least five times per week;
Choose berries at least 3 times per week.
Grains are not essential. It is a myth that whole grains are loaded with nutrition. While it is true that whole grains and “entire” grains are vastly superior to refined grains, they are not a nutrition powerhouse. Grains have small doses of some nutrients and can be part of a healthy diet grains but are not necessary for optimal health.
If you choose to eat grains, choose small portions:
For women, ½ to ¾ cup of cooked ‘entire grain’ is plenty at a meal
For men, ½ to 1½ cups cooked ‘entire grain’ is plenty at a meal
If you are still hungry with no grains or a smaller portion, consider adding more vegetables or fats (nuts, cheese, oil, butter, cream, etc.) to your meals.
Entire grains are the best form of grains to eat. Entire grains include brown rice, steel cut oats, quinoa, wheat berries, and pot barley. Whole grains are a reasonable alternate to entire grains when you are pressed for preparation time. Whole grains include whole grain pasta, whole grain breads, rolled oats, quick oats.
Dessert twice per week is “moderate” or “reasonable”. The most studied dietary pattern is the Mediterranean. In the Mediterranean pattern, choosing desserts, sweets or treats twice per week is moderate. That means in the context of an overall healthy diet, this amount of dessert does not reduce health. The portion size of this moderate dessert provides about 200 to 300 calories.
“Desserts” are the foods not mentioned above and include cakes, pastries, ice cream, potato chips, deep fried foods, soda pop, sweetened beverages, sugar, corn syrup, white bread, white rice, etc.
An alternate evidence-based guideline for desserts and sweets comes from the American Heart Association (AHA). The AHA recommends the maximum amount of added sugars one should eat in a day. For women it is 100 calories per day (25 grams or 6 teaspoons). For men it is 150 calories per day (37.5 grams or 9 teaspoons).
This is a reasonable amount of dessert or sugar for a “normal eater”. This does not apply to somebody who eats sweets compulsively or addictively.
All of us recovering from addiction need to avoid using sugar or ultra-processed foods as a coping or recovery tool when we are triggered to use our drug of choice.
A brain that has had an addiction to one substance, can more easily substitute another substance to add a second addiction.
Since sugar is a substance that can be addictive in its own right and abuse of sugar has many negative health consequences (such as weight gain, metabolic syndrome, diabetes and heart disease), it is not a good substitute for alcohol or any other drug of choice.
Using sugar to help you recover or manage cravings can eventually trigger a relapse of your drug of choice or become a second substance addiction on its own.
At the time the Big Book was written, sugar and ultra-processed foods were not readily available and they regular consumption was not part of “normal” culture. If I could make just one edit to the Big Book, I would delete the suggestion to use sugar as a substitute for alcohol.
5. If you have food addiction, fully abstain from sugar, ultra-processed foods and your own addictive trigger foods.
For people addicted to “certain foods”, moderation is a “harm reduction” treatment and not effective for long-term recovery. Abstinence creates a peaceful life and recovery.
Three Rules of Thumb in the Kitchen
To modify your favourite recipes:
Use minimally processed fresh or frozen meats, vegetables and fruits;
Use healthy fats and oils;
Choose olive oil, avocados, nuts, seeds, coconut, butter and cream
Avoid vegetable shortening, margarine and ultra-processed oils such as canola and corn
Use enough fat in cooking to make the taste and texture of your food delicious;
Many recipes from the 1980s are reduced in fat and flavour (with added sugar or starch to attempt to improve texture).
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