My War
Within…. Dear addiction:
You were once my friendly companion
Entertainer with colourful cheer
A magical sense of calmness
Many joyous happy years
Old pleasures began to slowly fade
Alone I came to thinking
You dragged me across an invisible line
To hell and heavy drinking
I’ve let you control my feelings and thoughts
A simple reminder to me
Of the fact I am an addict
No matter where I may be
My conscience you have stolen
And you’ve crushed me day by day
Not allowing me to become healthy
In many fearful frightening ways
You’ve taken my soul and broken my heart
No peace or freedom I share
Once my master and now my demise
You’ve left me defenseless and bare
You’ve taken my home
My children and wife
You’ve cornered me alone
And tried to take my life
Through trial and error
I now understand
The choices I made
Were before me at hand
My God is not magic
Or a good lucky charm
I know he can’t protect me
From life and everyday harms
My God is not identified
For all the world to see
It’s simply an understanding
Between my savior and me
Still fully aware my demons await
I battle to keep them away
Forward ahead one day at a time
My sobriety surely will stay
I carry a token around my neck
Reminding no one but me
That freedom and peace are my new way of life
If only I let it be
So I bid you farewell
My old friend and foe
Never Again
Will you rip out my soul
Kevin D. 2017-2022
Reflections
Mental Health and Addiction
My life was destroyed
Overcome by defeat
I came to my senses
I knew I was beat
Still shaky and weak
My soul ripped and bare
I fell to my knees
And asked for God’s care
Determined for victory
I struggled for years
The clouds began lifting
I was full of great fear
Unsure of the future
Very frightened and alone
I became willing to try
I long to go home
Many doctors and counselors
With knowledge and advice
Not as bad as I feared
They were actually quite nice
Some new and young
Others older and wise
Whomever I spoke to
Thoroughly helped my demise
New friendships I made
As I began to see
The others were sick
No different than me
Day in and day out
My emotions unsteady
Still I never gave up
But stayed focused and ready
Much wisdom I gained
Retraining my mind
So many regrets
I didn’t plan to find
My life has been blessed
For that I am sure
My thinking is changing
But far from a cure
Now seeing life different
And into the light
My path is now changing
The future looks bright
I have valuable tools
Pray morning and night
Serenity and peace
Are my new ways of life
Kevin D. 2019
