Following high school, Evan’s addiction led him to a treatment centre in the United States. After that, “I put together about a year of sobriety,” he says. It lasted until he started university in Ontario.
“In that environment, I relapsed within a week,” he notes. When an overdose landed him in the hospital, however, he realized it was time to tackle his demons for good.
“I already knew I had put my parents through a great deal,” Evan recalls, “but seeing them come into that hospital room … I had never seen that look of absolute horror on their faces. They looked like they just didn’t know what to do with me, how they could help, whether the next call they received would be worse.
My mom just dropped to her knees and started crying. It was a turning point.”
He entered treatment at Renascent, and at just 19 was one of the younger men in his group. It gave him a window into what his future life could be if he continued living in active addiction.
“In treatment, I remember hearing someone talk about how he’d had his third DUI, his second divorce …. all the things that had gone wrong in his life. And at first, I actually thought that sounded exciting. In a strange way, it sounded attractive.
When I told him that, he just looked at me and said ‘well, you’re really an alcoholic then; the only difference is that you’re ten years younger.’ He advised me to commit to treatment and literally save myself those ten years of hell.”
Evan took the words to heart. He found a sponsor and a home group while still at Renascent and, recognizing the power of community, decided to attend a local university so he could live with his parents and maintain his connection to others in recovery.
At first, he admits, navigating social situations as a young person was difficult.
“I didn’t get sober to live in a church basement,” he says, “so I do go out. But I preplan: I bring non-alcoholic drinks and plenty of gum, and I plan my own exit. I have at least 40 contacts in my phone with the letters ‘AA’ beside their names, and I know I can call on any of them if I need support.
I also keep my 24-hour and 4-year AA chips in wallet as reminders of how far I’ve come, how easily I can go back – and how much I don’t want to.”
Today, Evan is planning for his future. He’s a semester away from graduating university, after which he plans to pursue a second degree and travel. He meets with his sponsor regularly and has service positions within the recovery community.
But the biggest measure of his success, he says, is in his relationships.
“My parents no longer go to bed worrying they’ll get a call from a hospital,” he says. “My friends don’t need to try and figure out if they have to call ambulance, or I just had too much to drink.”
And recently, “my family asked me to take my 91-year-old grandfather to and from his cancer treatment,” Evan shares. “That’s something that never would have happened when I was in active addiction, because they wouldn’t have known whether they could count on me on any given day. It sounds like a small thing, but it’s actually a huge one – sobriety has allowed me to be there for the people I love. It’s changed everything for me.”
