By: Cory G, Renascent Alumni
Step five, to me is how I became free. It’s how I truly begin to walk in the sunlight of the spirit. Providing, however, that your fourth step is honest and thorough.
This is my first time ever being introduced to the Twelve Steps. This is my first time ever having this beautiful gift of sobriety and I am willing to continue doing anything it will take to maintain it.
I disclosed things to my sponsor that I planned on taking to the grave with me, because I knew that if I didn’t do my fourth and fifth honestly, I would be holding onto those resentments towards myself. We all know where that can lead and I couldn’t let it lead there. So, the honesty commenced.
I felt terrible after writing my fourth step. Almost like I went backwards on my recovery, but those words of wisdom I’ve heard too often stood out in my mind. After completing your inventory, admit it to another human being, that you trust completely, right away.
On my way to my sponsor’s place to do my fifth, I was very skeptical about how I was going to feel afterwards. I was nervous and ashamed. I prayed to God to give me the courage and he did. After going through my moral inventory with my sponsor, I felt this huge rush of relief and felt God’s presence immediately, like all the weight I was carrying was lifted off my shoulders.
This step has given me such a greater connection with my higher power and this program, and I am eternally grateful for that. If you’re feeling terrible after your step four and feeling nervous about doing your step five, then you’re working this program correctly. Don’t delay on doing your step five, get it done as soon as possible! The blessings are so incredibly worth it!