Alumni Perspective: Letting Go of My Old Beliefs

by Natasha B. (Munro 2012)

My name is Natasha and I always thought I was a recovering Catholic.

Some people laugh when I say that, but I felt very overwhelmed by this idea of God and it made me think of the nuns in my school yelling at me for having a tongue piercing!

When I got to Step 2 I was told to write out my old beliefs and prejudices on one side and my new beliefs on the other …

Old Beliefs     New Beliefs
Punishing God Forgiving
Hated me Powerful
Wanted me to suffer Loving
Sat on his throne disappointed at me Cared about me even with my flaws
Told me I had to work hard to get into Heaven Wants me to help others
Had to go to church to feel GOD Was everywhere

When I wrote this out it made me see I had so many prejudices from my past that I had to let go of and move forward.

When I was two months sober I got the slogan “Let Go, Let God” on my chest, this was shortly after I did step two. I heard the slogan in meetings but couldn’t connect it with a God until I understood what he meant to me!

My God is personal to me! I don’t judge people today by their Higher Power if it works for them and can keep them sober.

Today I turn my life and my will over to my God. That is, I turn my thinking and my actions over to the God of my own understanding (sometimes I think to the God of my misunderstanding).

Sometimes I think God loves me so much, even when I mess up, and it fills my heart with gratitude.

I’m so grateful to have God in my life and I know when I trust Him nothing can go wrong.

Just for today I will be living Faith over Fear and for that I am beyond grateful!

About the Authors

Renascent Alumni
Members of Renascent's alumni community carry the message by sharing their experiences and perspectives on addiction and recovery. To contribute your alumni perspective, please email alumni@renascent.ca.