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  • Christie’s Perspective: Step 8

    Christine, Renascent Alumna

    Step 8 seemed terrifying when I began my journey. I knew I had done a lot of harm, but I hadn’t been willing to look at it too closely. I entered Renascent a completely broken woman who was willing to do anything for my recovery. I made a commitment to my sponsor when we started the steps that I would remain willing to go to any length. But the fear was still there. I was told that we weren’t there yet and I didn’t need to think about it.

    I found as I went through steps one to seven, big changes started happening in me and the way I was reacting to life. I was able to see how resentful I had been, and was able to see the truth in how I had been viewing myself. I was also able to see how much fear had been guiding my life! When I sat down to write the list of people I had harmed I was reminded of the phrase in “How it Works” that begs us to be fearless and thorough from the very start. I knew that I was starting to experience freedom, and I didn’t want to go back to the way I had been living. 

    With that willingness in mind and the strength of my Higher Power, I made my list. I found that having it all put on paper made it seem much more manageable! There were people there who had done me much more harm than I had done to them, but I was directed not to play out how the amends would go and just to keep to the facts of what I had done. I also had significant financial amends to make, which seemed very scary.

    Being willing and writing with humility made walking through Step 8 so much easier. After I was able to start making my amends and the rest of the steps, my whole outlook on life really did change. Things I had done which had haunted me were truly in the past, and I was able to get on the right path in all areas of my life. I’m so glad I had the guidance of a good sponsor, and that of my Higher Power, because with that willingness I today have a life of which I truly could not have even imagined previously. I also know I need to remain willing today, and that I have made this decision to live this way no matter what is happening in my life.

    It’s worth it and so are you.

    About the Authors

    Alumni
    Members of Renascent's alumni community carry the message by sharing their experiences and perspectives on addiction and recovery. To contribute your alumni perspective, please email alumni@renascent.ca.