The first thing that you want to consider as far as expectations in recovery is to try not to have them at all! Sometimes it is our expectations that kill us in recovery and the only way that we can truly become disappointed is if our expectations were too high to begin with.
Addiction is a chronic, progressive illness. No one can be cured. If someone is suffering from addiction, they cannot relax at any time. The brain neurochemistry changes… so these people are prone to relapse.
Then he really got my attention. He told me that recovery wasn’t just about abstinence – although that was a necessary start. It was about learning how to have spiritual experiences using healthy methods. He said I could learn how to deal with the fear and aloneness that had dogged me all my life.
About a year ago I read an article written by Bill W. titled “The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety.” He wrote this article late in his AA recovery and it deals with that wonderfully terrifying realm – beyond not drinking. To me, it was the most powerful thing he ever wrote, along with the Big Book. It opened up a whole new dimension of recovery I was struggling to find. It literally saved my life.
Many people report experiencing a traumatic event at some point in their lives. In fact, traumatic events occur among 60 per cent of men and 50 per cent of women during their lifetime. Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event, however, develops PTSD. While post-traumatic symptoms are very common in the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event, for most survivors these symptoms lessen with time. For a significant minority, however, these symptoms do not diminish on their own.
In addictions counseling I frequently hear outrage that, “My partner still doesn’t trust me!” I ask how long they were active in addiction? They usually respond with a high number of years. I ask how long they’ve been sober? They explain a few months. I raise an eyebrow at the contrast and they usually get it.
