The news of her boyfriend’s passing was unbearable. He died by suicide and in the depths of her grief, Molly quickly found Percocet.
“It allowed me to stop crying. I thought it was a miracle,” she shares. “I never wanted to be without it again.”
In the months and years that followed, Molly’s dependency on Percocet grew; taking anywhere between 10-20 pills per day. She met another drug user who would soon become her boyfriend, and the severity of her addiction escalated.
“Once I got with him, I started using cocaine and Fentanyl. Soon I was hooked on methamphetamines and Fentanyl,” says Molly. “It wasn’t my intention to move up in my drug use, but I was in my sickness. I needed it and it seemed cost-effective.”
Within a few short months – under the thumb of her addiction – Molly’s life had changed drastically. “I lost everything. I lost my kids, my car, and my apartment,” she shares. “My new boyfriend was also abusive. He used my addiction to control me. It was a nightmare.”
Molly’s boyfriend was eventually incarcerated for an unrelated incident, which meant she was able to seek the help she so desperately needed.
“I knew for a few years that I needed treatment. Before attending, I thought I would be able to stop using on my own,” shares Molly, who by now had started using Methadone to help manage her cravings. “I was tired of living like that. I was ready to just drop. I was so emotionally bankrupt.”
Molly was able to attend Renascent under the coverage of her father’s health insurance. Her time at Renascent Graham Munro Centre would change her life.
“I’ve never liked spending the night away from my home so it was really nerve wracking for me,” says Molly. “I actually really enjoyed my time in treatment. Once I got there, I did feel comfortable. I was surprised by the amount of genuine concern and care that I received.”
Molly valued receiving care in an all-women’s treatment centre. “I definitely preferred being around women only in treatment. I think it would have been distracting to have men there and I would not have gotten as much out of the program as I did,” she shares.
Treatment at Renascent provided Molly with the foundation that she needed to live a new life. Day by day her confidence grew and she made a commitment to let her boyfriend know that their relationship would be over forever.
“Even though my boyfriend was in prison, we would stay in touch. When I went to Renascent, I hadn’t decided to leave him, but shortly after starting treatment I had the epiphany that I had to end the relationship,” said Molly. “One of the counsellors helped me write a letter to him ending things. I was so scared to do that and so happy to get help.”
Since December 1, 2022, Molly has been off Methadone.
“I am so proud of myself for doing that. The whole time I was getting off it, my anxiety was spiking. I feel more normal now than I did in my entire life. I am on fewer medications as well now and that helps,” says Molly.
Today, when she feels anxiety setting in, Molly relies on the coping and relaxation techniques she learned in treatment. Molly reflects on the last four years with a sense of gratitude. She knows how fortunate she has been to attend treatment and appreciates the hard work she has put in to maintain her recovery.
“I was very lucky that my Dad’s health insurance was able to pay for my treatment. The cost of treatment would have been a huge barrier for me, especially if I had to wait on a long wait list,” says Molly, knowing that the wait for government-funded treatment can be as long as three months. “I imagine that there are a lot of people who could benefit from faster access to treatment. I think it’s amazing that donors can help cover some of the cost.”
Today, Molly has a lot to look forward to. She has mended her relationships with her parents and children, and anticipates returning to the job she left four years ago.
“I want to be independent one day. I am looking forward to getting my own place and starting over in that regard,” she says. “I am so blessed to have the support of my parents. I don’t know where I would be without them.”
Molly is also an active volunteer helping others find and maintain recovery. She helps organize recovery meetings at a women’s detox centre and is active in her home group. She also attends self-help courses offered by the women’s shelter she was connected with. These trainings help her gain new skills and tools in many areas, including coping with trauma.
“Donors can save someone’s life so that person can go and save someone else’s life. That’s what recovering addicts do – we go around helping and trying to save others.”
