“I just never felt at peace,” Hannah says. “I always felt like the black sheep, the odd one out.”
It was this persistent feeling of discomfort that led Hannah to six years of heavy drug use, culminating in a dangerous and all-consuming addiction.
“I would find different means of escaping myself and my raw state of being,” she says. “When I discovered cocaine, I was hooked. Nothing measured up to the feeling it gave me. Over time, I lost touch with how to live life without any substances.
I always knew I had a problem, but I didn’t have tools to change. I really thought I was terminally unique: there was something ‘special’ about me that meant I couldn’t stop using.”
One dark day, Hannah hit rock bottom. She reached out to her family for help, and with their assistance began the intake process at Renascent.
“That’s where it all began,” she recalls. “For the first time, I had hope. I will be forever grateful to the donors who have supported my journey, because I didn’t have the funds to pay for treatment. Without their generosity, there’s no way I ever would have had a chance for a new life.”
Still, arriving at Renascent was daunting.
“I didn’t know many people in treatment,” Hannah says, “but I remember my mom bringing me to Renascent and two women sitting outside knew who I was. They welcomed me with open arms, nourished me and took me in.
I didn’t feel alone after that.”
From there, she describes her recovery journey as a fresh start that feels like a rebirth.
“At Renascent I felt a sense of connection and understanding I didn’t have before,” Hannah explains. “All these beautiful women were on a similar journey. I wasn’t the black sheep anymore.
I was 28 when I entered recovery, and the feeling I was searching for my entire life through substances, I found here in the healthiest of ways.”
Fourteen months into recovery, Hannah is a supportive friend, family member and sponsor. She has a full-time job, a service position in her home group and is going back to school. “I’m learning and growing every day,” she says. “Even in recovery, I’ve been presented with some really big challenges. But I handle things differently now, and I know Renascent is just a call away.” She also credits Renascent’s after care program with helping her keep on track.
But in a tremendous season of growth, perhaps the biggest change has been Hannah’s outlook on life.
“I was never satisfied before,” she notes. “Now I can appreciate life as it is, and I have tools to use in challenges. I can keep doing the ‘next right thing.’ I don’t need to numb myself anymore.
Life is enough for me today.”
