By Cody, Renascent Alumni
Father’s Day being sober today looks a lot different now then when I was in active addiction. When I was using, I was always mad and yelling at my kids and scaring them because I would chose drugs over them. When I was with them I wasn’t there like I should of been.
At the end of my addiction I would always be so messed up on the couch that they thought I was dying and it scared them. I would justify my using, thinking that they were young, they wouldn’t remember, and they didn’t know. But they did know and I just didn’t care because drugs came first. I would always be high when it was the holidays and the kids birthdays, and I wouldn’t be able to give them much because I would spend all my money on drugs. My addiction got so bad that I would sell their stuff so I could get high. Once again, I would justify that it was ok and that the kids wouldn’t know because drugs came before anything else.
Now that I am clean Father’s Day is a lot different. I am actually there for my kids and they can count me today. We have fun together and I’m not always yelling at them. When I was using, I looked at being a dad like it was job, but today I love spending time with my kids and I would do anything for them. I actually show up to be Dad in the way that they deserve. The best thing that could of happened to me was going to Renascent and being in recovery.