If you’re just getting sober, you know it’s coming: Victoria Day Long Weekend. This first long weekend of Spring signals more than just the arrival of warmer weather; for many who are in recovery, especially those newly sober or still struggling to maintain sobriety, Victoria Day used to mean one more day to dig into that two-four, hence the fond nickname wryly recalled. Now, the long weekend seems like a complete mystery: what to do, now that drugs and alcohol are off the table? Most people won’t have to work, and all kinds of places are closed.
It can be easy to look back on past Victoria Day weekends (or stare with longing at the social media feeds of friends who are still drinking and drugging) and re-live those ‘good’ times with euphoric recall. There were boats to fall out of and steaks to consume, beverage in hand, up at the cottage; getting high while laying on a blanket watching the fireworks; no boss or teachers breathing down your neck on Monday morning. Not a care in the world. Then, of course, came the bitter hangovers on Tuesday morning, the fights with friends and family, relationship breakups, car crashes…for some reason, it’s harder to remember the reality of the harsh consequences that can occur, once substance use gets out of control.
The key to having fun in sobriety on Victoria Day long weekend, rather than sighing over the ‘good old days’ or moping around at home, is a little preparation. Don’t wait for the long weekend to try and decide what to do; take a look at our list of fun things to do sober on the May long weekend, and start thinking of your own, now. Your only challenge will be that the weekend isn’t long enough!
- Make something with your hands. Maybe you think you aren’t good at making things, but have you tried painting? Building birdhouses? Beading? Knitting? T-shirt making? Canning? Most craft stores offer free drop-in classes and advice, or you can YouTube it and learn something new online.
- Have a picnic. You don’t need a hand-lettered cottage invite to spend time outdoors; go to one of Toronto’s many big, gorgeous public parks (may we suggest Taylor Creek Park or Edwards Gardens?) and have a picnic. Take the trails with a group of friends. Make it a point to collect something interesting to remind you of the day.
- Spend time with animals. Nothing soothes the soul like reminding yourself you are connected to something bigger, and what could be bigger than Mother Nature? If you live in Toronto, The Leslie Spit, preferably on a bike, and see incredible birds, bugs, plants and small animals, living in the wild.
- Start something. A weekend might not be long enough to finish a course or write a novella or learn a language, but you can start something you’ve always wanted to do. You don’t have to worry about how or even when you will finish it; as the proverb goes, a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.
- Spring clean. If this sounds like a terrible chore, think about how a messy house, closet, or bedroom can be psychologically and physically cluttering your life – and how good it will feel to finally tackle that pile of dirt, clutter or ‘stuff’ that you no longer need that’s weighing you down.
- Connect virtually with friends. Now is a great time to catch-up with friends and family. Schedule your virtual get-togethers so that you feel connected.
- Get gardening. If you don’t have your own plot of land, buy some pots, seeds and soil, and start a windowsill garden. If you do have outdoor space such as a backyard, just know that what non-addicts traditionally do on May 24 weekend is put their gardens in.
- Write your bucket list. This is but one of the introspective, soul-searching activities that long weekends were built for. Many of us used to neglect our inner lives terribly, but sobriety provides the long-awaited opportunity to find out more about ourselves and what we really want to be, do and have in life. Do a deep meditation, write out your thoughts, goals, musings and dreams, write about where you’re stuck and what you think you could do about it. If you won’t spend the time to listen to yourself, who will?
- Make a vision board. This is a great activity with friends: find a meeting space (like someone’s living room) and bring a bunch of old magazines. Together, cut out images and words that resonate with where you want to be and what you want to achieve in the future. Make a collage that you can then frame and put on your wall, because what you think about (and see regularly), you bring about.
- Start a blog. Along the lines of the vision board, newcomers to recovery can often feel uprooted and aimless because they are on a new path, and new can be scary at first. To home in on where you’re going, setting up a new social media profile or better yet, your own blog, is a good way to redefine yourself and cut loose from old behaviours, people, or ways of thinking.
- Redefine your space. Paint a room, change out your old heavy winter curtains for some light and airy sheers, sand and refinish that cabinet you’ve been meaning to get to forever, improve the flow of your space with a nod to feng shui. Just like with clutter (or addiction, for that matter), we can get used to and even tolerate negative things, so if everything looks blah and you can’t see how it could change, ask a friend to look at your space with fresh eyes.
- Get bakin’. Make a cake and decorate it, even if you’ve never done so in your life before. What’s the occasion? Why, it’s Victoria Day. Your next challenge will be to find a friend (or 7) to share it with you.
- Make a plan. Recovering addicts are often told to ‘stay in the present moment’ and not worry about yesterday or tomorrow, however, the fact is that many recovering alcoholics also suffer from anxiety, and anxiety can often arise from not knowing what the next step is and not feeling prepared. Free up your mind to enjoy this Victoria Day weekend to the fullest, by writing out what you will do the following week. Do you need to look into school registration, find housing, or send out some resumes? Do you need to speak to a social worker, call a friend for their birthday? Getting it out of your head and onto an online or paper planning tool will help you use the brain for its intended purpose: processing, not storage. Now sit back, relax, and watch Netflix.
In active addiction, things that were once enjoyable took a backseat to drinking and using. The good news is, you can rediscover those things – and a whole bunch of new things you may never have even tried. Fun in recovery is as easy as picking one of these activities – or several – and giving them an honest try to reconnect with who you really are.
Have a safe, sober, and very happy Victoria Day!