Despite memorizing and saying the Step Three prayer every day and following my sponsor's suggestion that I read Step Three in the 12 & 12 every day for 30 days, I still was staked around the “perpendicular pronoun” I-I-I ... the thing that I'm told makes up the ISM in alcoholism: I – Self – Me.

One crucial insight that I learned through my struggles with Step One was that the suffering and adverse consequences related to my drinking were never enough for me to reach my final bottom. Adverse consequences included many hospital trips, a few psychiatric/crisis visits, broken bones, numerous blackouts, loneliness, isolation, legal and financial problems … the list could go on and on. But until that complete and utter surrender came, I continued to fight.