I grew up Catholic. I went to church on Christmas and with my grandparents, and I went to Catholic school. But faith was never really part of my life; church was just something I attended because I “had” to.  As I got older, I didn’t think much about God at all.

When I came to Renascent, I didn’t even realize the 12 Steps were a spiritual program. That surprised me. But as I spent more time there, I started to understand how important a Higher Power could be in recovery. For me, that Higher Power is God. Thinking about God again opened something up inside me that had been closed for a long time.

Step 6 — becoming ready to have God remove my defects of character — really changed me. I’ve always been a planner. I’ve tried to control everything: my days, my future, how things should go. Letting go of that control was uncomfortable at first. But at Renascent, I laid everything out on the table. I was honest in front of the group in a way I’d never been before. The more open I became, the more I leaned into my faith.

I started praying at night and noticed I was going to bed with a sense of peace I’d never felt before. I still pray every night. My grandmother gave me her old prayer book, and I later had my daughter baptized. It doesn’t have to be religious for everyone — but for me, it is.

Step 6 showed me that I don’t have to run the show anymore. If I do the next right thing and trust God, there’s a plan for me. That trust has helped cleanse my heart and soul — and it’s something I carry with me every day.