“I spent my whole life doing everything the wrong way,” Cynthia says. “Now I want to spend the rest of my life doing things right.”

For her, those words aren’t just a reflection. They’re a commitment.

Cynthia’s substance use began early, starting with marijuana in her young teens and escalating to alcohol and harder drugs. It became woven into a life in which she often felt like the black sheep, struggling with an absent father and a difficult relationship with her mother. “I went through a lot of trauma and abuse as a child and as an adult,” she reflects. “For years, I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal. I thought it was just life.” Over time, repeated loss deepened the pain. She lost numerous friends and family members, including her son. “He was murdered at 21,” she shares. “By then, I was already an addict and an alcoholic.

So I just kept going with it.”

For years she used substances to cope, or to avoid coping altogether. Emotions were buried; survival came first. Her housing options were unstable and spanned rooming houses, shelters, and even a van. The environments Cynthia moved through were often unsafe, and the people around her reflected that reality. But after several attempts at recovery and two relapses, Cynthia made a quiet decision.

“On Christmas Day, 2024, I decided I would let my weed – the last substance I was using – run out,” she says. Not long after, a harm reduction worker handed her a list of treatment options. Cynthia made a call, and Renascent was the first to respond.

Cynthia was unsure of what to expect. Being surrounded by women felt unfamiliar at first. “I didn’t trust women,” she explains, “and I thought that environment might be challenging.” Instead, her time in the inpatient program became a turning point. “I was given a lot of tools,” she says. “And I made up my mind there. I wasn’t going back to using or abusing drugs and alcohol, in any form.”

Importantly, she also began to recognize the importance of being intentional about who she allows into her life. “I’ve realized how much the people around me matter,” she explains, “to the point of sometimes isolating myself so I don’t end up around the wrong people.  Now, I’m learning how to let the right people in without losing myself.”

Over a year into recovery, Cynthia’s focus is squarely on healing. She regularly attends AA and CA meetings and is working with a sponsor to address issues of codependency. With support from her doctor, she’s beginning to address long-standing trauma through counselling and psychiatric care.

“For the first time, I’m dealing with the emotional part of my life,” she says. “Before, drugs and alcohol did that for me.” Eager to give back, she volunteers in her community and is focussing on rebuilding relationships with her family.

She’s also reconnecting with life’s simple joys. “I recently bought roller skates,” she shares. “Roller skating is one of very few positive memories I have from childhood.” This summer, she plans to spend time at the beach, swimming at her community centre, camping with a new friend and enjoying time outdoors with her daughter.

“I actually want to live my life now,” Cynthia says.

“Quitting gives you peace. Once you feel it, you want to hold onto it.”