By Kyle, Renascent Alumni
People often say that Step 4, which calls us to make “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,” is difficult. But the thing is, it’s not that hard if you choose to just address the things you’re comfortable acknowledging.
The first time I completed Step 4, I shared what I was comfortable sharing but kept in the things that were really affecting me. And while that felt “easier” at the time, it really became a problem in Step 5, when I was to admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
The truth is, there are no shortcuts. You have to acknowledge things for them to get better, and what I learned in Step 5 was that talking about difficult things is actually really freeing. When I shared my challenges I became more relatable, and it didn’t make me feel worse. In fact, it made me feel a lot better. Sometimes hearing myself say something out loud offers a new sense of perspective – as the words are coming out of my mouth, I realize how far I’ve come and how much I never want to go back to where I was.
A year into recovery, I’m still learning the power of letting things go. This past weekend, for example, I called my sponsor to talk about an embarrassing situation from my past. As I said the words aloud, I realized it wasn’t worth me holding onto; after all, there’s nothing I can do about it today. And afterwards, I felt so much better for just having shared.
One thing we were taught in Renascent was that we all carry around an invisible backpack full of “rocks” – things that we hold onto, for whatever reason, that no longer serve us.
Talking about things helps us unload the rocks one at a time, and our load gets lighter. It makes life so much more manageable, and it’s a very freeing experience.
