“When I drank, I finally felt ‘normal,’” Joel recalls. “The anxiety disappeared.”

For years, alcohol wasn’t just something he used – it became the way he learned how to belong. Growing up in a home shaped by neglect, abuse, and constant instability, he never felt comfortable in his own skin. “I didn’t know who I was,” Joel shares, “and even if I did, I couldn’t show who I was, because it felt like the people who were supposed to want me … didn’t.”

Alcohol entered his life in his teens and immediately gave him confidence. But from the beginning, it never stopped at one or two drinks. “I drank to blackout, even as a teenager,” he admits. What started as weekend partying progressed into daily drinking, and he soon found himself waking up and cracking a beer just to function.

By his early twenties, Joel had dropped out of university and found work bartending. It was a double-edged sword: the money was good, alcohol was everywhere, and the lifestyle felt like belonging. “In hindsight, I was the party favour,” he says. “Always the guy with the funny stories, always the life of the party.” But when the night ended, the anxiety returned, and alcohol became the solution again.

Over time, the consequences mounted. Invitations disappeared. Relationships faded. Funny stories turned into arrests. “Every bad situation I was ever in — police, fights, charges — I was drunk,” Joel says. “I’ve never committed a crime sober.”  During one difficult period, he spent 28 days alone in custody. “Nobody showed up to bail me out,” he recalls. “It was clear that I was completely alone.”

Still, he kept trying to reset. New jobs. New friend groups. New plans. And each time, alcohol followed. When COVID hit, isolation and government support made it easier than ever to drink all day. “For an alcoholic, it was the best thing,” he admits. “I had time on my hands, and The Beer Store was still open.”

Everything began to change when his fiancé — now his wife — found Renascent and told Joel he needed help. He agreed, albeit with an ulterior motive. “Initially, I went to appease my fiancé and get my license back,” he says. “My plan was to come out and drink on weekends like a ‘normal person.’”

Then something unexpected happened. “I walked into Renascent, and I couldn’t tell the staff members from the clients,” he says. “Everyone was introducing themselves and offering to show me around. Everyone was welcoming.” A pivotal moment came early on, when someone falsely accused him of drinking.  A counsellor observed how quickly Joel had allowed his anger to take over, rather than remaining calm in the face of his truth. “That was the first time I saw that life wasn’t about what others thought of me,” he reflects. “I’d spent so many years trying to fit in, I didn’t know how to just be me.”

Through honesty, shared stories, and the structure of the 12 Steps, including learning to trust a Higher Power, Joel’s thinking began to shift. “I realized alcohol had made my life unmanageable,” he says. “And I’m powerless over it.”

Today, Joel can be around alcohol without wanting a drink. He attends meetings regularly, stays connected to the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, and continues therapy. He’s married, raising a daughter, and working in addictions and mental health. “I still have lots to work through, but it’s so, so much easier sober,” he reflects.  “And at last, I’m finally learning how to be myself.”