By Rachel, Renascent Alumni
Negative emotions are difficult to navigate in recovery. When I was in active addiction, I would use substances to numb these emotions and not feel. Being sober, I have to process without numbing.
The key for me is reaching out when I need support, attending 12- Step meetings, and relying on my Higher Power. Life has its ups and downs. Yet, if we were happy all the time, we could not truly experience happiness, because we would have nothing to compare it to.
I am learning that I need to take care of myself. It can be easy to be busy all the time, so I don’t have to think. However, I eventually crash and am at high risk for relapse. Things I find helpful are art, writing, and singing. These help me tap into my creative side, process negative emotions, and connect spiritually. Art and Singing can be a form of meditation. Everyone is different; it’s finding what works for you.
Prayer and meditation are important. When I connect with my Higher Power, life seems to go more easily. I can process negative emotions better. Acceptance is the answer. When I accept the things I cannot change and “Let Go and let God”, it is easier to deal with “Life on Life’s Terms”.
Gratitude is key. When I am grateful for what I have instead of what I don’t, things don’t seem so negative. It can be hard when I’m in deep depression to be grateful so a gratitude list can be helpful. I personally have had to have professional help for my mental health, and that’s ok too. Recovery is about asking for help, and it’s ok to need outside help.
Life has its difficulties, and learning to deal with difficult emotions in recovery can be hard but worth it. When I get through a horrible day, which in the past I would have relapsed over, I feel proud of myself. Though when I relapse, it leads to guilt and shame, which makes the negative emotions worse. I remember this when I’m struggling. I also “Remember When.” Remembering where I came from makes me not want to go back. I have come so far and gained so much in recovery. Thinking about what I could lose motivates me to push through the difficult emotions.
“When the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” I am becoming a butterfly; there is hope today. No matter what negative emotion I feel, it’s better than life in addiction. The “Serenity Prayer” helps when I am struggling. I am learning that I can only change myself. Life in recovery is beautiful, and the storm will pass. A rainbow comes after the storm. An anchor holds in the storm of life as I rely on my higher power and focus on the lighthouse of hope in the distance. There is a light at the end of the tunnel of difficult emotions, remembering that gives me strength and hope.
