By Wade, Renascent Alumni

For a long time, the idea of God didn’t sit well with me. I had seen things overseas that people shouldn’t have to see, and the faith I grew up with didn’t survive that. By the time I came into recovery, I was pretty vocal about it. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to believe, and I definitely didn’t want to hear that a Higher Power was the answer to anything.

Step 3 challenged me in a different way. It didn’t ask me to believe in anything specific. It asked me to consider that maybe I didn’t have all the answers, and that maybe running my own life hadn’t worked out so well. That part I couldn’t argue with.

What helped me was reframing faith as a belief in the “God of my understanding.” Not something rigid or forced, but something rooted in kindness, guidance, and the idea that there might be more going on than just me and my will. I didn’t need to walk into a church or have it all figured out. I just needed to stop pretending I was in control.

As my body began to heal and my thinking started to clear, I could feel something shift. I wasn’t alone in the same way anymore. Turning my will and my life over didn’t mean giving up. It meant letting something bigger carry some of the weight.

I’m still taking it one day at a time. I don’t have perfect faith, and I don’t need to. Step 3 taught me that willingness matters more than certainty, and that trusting the process can be enough to keep moving forward.