After losing her brother, Sonnja noticed her marijuana use had become problematic.
“At first, I didn’t realize how bad it was. Then I saw I couldn’t stop, even when I tried. I had brief successes quitting—lasting a month or two—but I always went back, and each time my use worsened,” says Sonnja, who battled marijuana addiction for about a decade.
One night, gripped by desperation, Sonnja prayed and asked God for help. This was a significant step for her as someone who previously thought she did not need help to abstain.
A quick Google search led her to Marijuana Anonymous – and Renascent. Having grown up among family members who smoked marijuana, Sonnja always viewed it as a social habit.
“Smoking was never seen as something you could get addicted to or need external help to stop,” she said. But through Renascent, Sonnja learned that marijuana addiction is real and that treatment could be a vital tool for recovery.
“At Renascent, I realized I am an addict. I learned to distinguish ‘addict behavior’ from ‘trauma behavior,’ which I’d previously conflated. That revelation was life-changing,” Sonnja explains. “I used to blame my youth for my trauma. I do have trauma, depression, and generalized anxiety, but my marijuana use exacerbated those conditions. It heightened everything in my daily life. Constantly numbing myself meant I never practiced living life on its own terms.”
Today, Sonnja relies on tools from her time in treatment and the recovery community to navigate challenges. She embraces concepts like radical acceptance and rigorous honesty, practices breathwork and meditation, and attends recovery meetings. These tools help her maintain her recovery.
“It’s been over a year and a half since I started recovery. I’ve cut contact with anyone who smokes marijuana, including my family,” says Sonnja, who now considers the 12-Step community her chosen family. “The Marijuana Anonymous community is a loving, safe space that offers guidance and reminds me that abstinence is one thing, but recovery is another. I wouldn’t be in recovery without their wisdom.”
Now, Sonnja finds joy in simple things. “Joy isn’t my natural state, so I have to seek it out. Meeting commitments, caring for my home and body, and seeing my sponsor—these daily activities bring me joy. I also care for my plants, using them as a barometer. If they’re drooping, I’m probably neglecting them—and myself.”
Sonnja adds, “I am comforted and content. A new identity is being formed in me, no longer tied to a substance. Cannabis was a huge part of who I was. Today, my identity is rooted in spirituality and the Higher Power I can call on.”
